Here’s my list of parenting memes. Something to make you smile! Pretty much every parent should relate to at least one if not all of these at some point in their journey.
You know you’re a parent when….
You feel like you’ve lived an entire day before 9 am
Feel like you’ve invented time travel and lived an entire day already?
By 9am you’ve probably:
- Dressed several people
- Averted a few disasters or fights
- Made and served several courses of breakfast and drinks
- Packed a few bags
- Discussed several unusual subjects repeatedly
- Played a board game
- Cajoled some small unhappy people into doing the right thing under extreme time pressure
- Tidied up several rooms of your house more than once
The list of things you can get done before your day would usually have started will surprise you!
You’ve Googled about poop
Yep, there’s graphics, charts and articles on the subject. But understanding the coloring and consistency of a good poop isn’t something you’ll probably ever need to have done until the day you find a green one in your little ones nappy.
You’re the only person actually watching Peppa Pig
It happens, you put the TV on for the children. You start watching with them thinking, ‘this will calm things down a little‘. After a while, they’ve all started doing something else but you’re still there, and what’s more, you catch yourself being interested!!!
You hang about in public toilet stalls waiting for children (your children obviously!)
Emergency public toilet trips with a toddler can mean you find yourself hanging out in the most horrible places for longer than you’d ever normally even consider doing!
You live in a small toyshop
You started with this nice idea that your pristine tidy house wouldn’t be invaded by kids toys. Everything would be nicely tidied away after being played with. The reality is that there’s stuff all over the place!
Your nice relaxing bath often has visitors, and they want to get in
Oh yeah, don’t try sneaking off for a nice soak in the tub. They know where you are and they will find you!
The sound of someone else crying child has no effect on you at all
Yep, the sound of a baby or a child crying is can be used as a form of mental torture. After about 5 years of listening to it you can easily block it out. You’re mentally tougher than most soldiers, you’re a parent.
The sound of your own crying child next to no effect on you at all
Well there’s nuances to crying. And now you know the differences between ‘real’ crying and ‘pretend’ crying. The pretend sort no longer works on you!
Someone is nearly always talking to you
About anything and everything. And more so when you’re trying to talk to someone else. That’s simply a green light for more talking.
Anything you own can end up anywhere…
Toothbrushes in the laundry basket, stuffed animals in the cutlery drawer, playstation games in the oven. Anything anywhere and sometimes it’s hilarious!
You find yourself doing puppet shows to entertain someone whilst they sit on the toilet
Pooping is boring when you’re 4. Anything that isn’t what you want to be doing is boring. So entertainment is sometimes required!
9pm is late and you feel like really should be in bed
Yep, the kids are asleep (finally), you get about an hour to yourself and then? You probably ought to go to bed, I mean you’ve a TON of stuff to do before 9 AM rolls around!!!
You’ve seen the same episodes of certain cartoons or films about 100 times, and not because they’re your favorite!
What would you like to watch? Really? What again? The SAME one!? Okay, okay, okay….
I know every single line of this movie but here we go again!
You understand that diapers can explode – yes, they can
Nope, not split, not leak either. I’m talking about when a diaper is FULL and your little one squashes it full force, it will explode. There are now little gel granules soaked in pee everywhere!
Everything you wear is dirty, if it wasn’t, it will be soon
You find yourself in a park or at work and inexplicably there’s a stain on the shoulder of your top, or about thigh height on your skirt or shorts. Yep, everything you own comes out of the laundry clean, but within about 30 minutes someone has hugged you, snotted on you, spilt something on you or involved you in a messy activity!
You forget any hope of fine cuisine
Forget any experimental meals or trying something new, because if it’s not pasta or pizza, or cooked by grandma, it’s going to cause an issue at the dinner table.
You wonder what you did with your time before you had kids!
You’re amazed at all the time you used to have. In fact you can’t really understand how MUCH time you used to have and what you did with it!